


I'm scared that you won't understand

by Knuckles009 (RedCatEye)



Category: WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Becky's a supportive friend, I wrote this while watching Smackdown, Kayfabe Compliant, Long-kept Secret, M/M, Male Menstruation, Roman's questionable sexuality, Slight transphobia in the start, Trans Man! Dean, Transgender Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-02 21:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5264450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedCatEye/pseuds/Knuckles009
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "You don't know me as well as you think you do!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Revelations

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt was given to me via facebook message by one of my friends and I thought I'd fill that prompt.  
> Full prompt: "You don't know me as well as you think you do!" Character A is of questionable gender while Character B finds out the weird way.

Monday night Raw was a complete pain in the ass for Dean Ambrose. Sure, he advanced further into the quarterfinals for the WWE title but nothing else seemed to be interesting. His head hurt all night and he couldn't move well after his match with Ziggler. Right as he stepped back behind the curtain, he leaned against the wall and rubbed at his forehead. This was not going so well.

He decided maybe it was just hunger so he went to the Catering area and was about to grab a plate when his stomach acted up. 'Great,' He thought to himself. 'Just great.' He sat down at the nearest table and laid his head down on the cool plastic surface, hiding his face with his arms. That seemed to have soothed the throbbing pain in his head but he'd rather it got rid of his churning stomach. 

"Hey, Ambrose, you alright?" A high-pitched yet concerned voice called out to him and Dean could hear the chair across from his being pulled out and sat on. He slowly lifted his head and saw Sasha Banks sitting across from him with a plate full of food and a bottle of water in front of her. She took off her jacket and dropped it onto the table.

Dean sat up straight and nodded, although the slight action caused his head to start hurting again. "'M fine. Just hungry, I guess."

"You could have some of my food if you want," The redhead offered, handing him an apple from her plate. "I think I got too much, anyway."

The Lunatic accepted the apple and took a small bite out of it. The food made him feel better but the headache felt like a full-blown migraine now and he was sure that Sasha could see how much pain he's in right now.

She placed a hand on the man's forearm, noting the slight flinch of the blonde, before asking "Are you sure you're okay? You should get to the trainers, let 'em see if you've got a concussion or something."

"I...I think I will. You don't mind if I keep the apple, right?"

"Nope, not at all. Seriously, hop to it." 

Dean got up from his chair and turned to go, apple in hand, when he felt Sasha pressed up behind him. "The fu-"

"Y'know what? Let's head to your locker room," The diva advised, quickly grabbing her jacket and tying the sleeves around the Lunatic's waist. "Like, now."

* * *

"Alright, what is this about?" 

Dean closed the door of his locker room after Sasha, who stood in front of him with arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. 

He felt uncomfortable under the woman's judgmental gaze. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

"You have a mirror somewhere in here?" Sasha finally asked, looking around the room to find the object. Dean was puzzled by her question and, even without being told to, headed to the bathroom where he knew a full-length mirror hung. Sasha waited outside in the main room and checked her perfectly manicured nails as her co-worker was busy looking at himself in the bathroom.

3...2...1...

"AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!" 

Sasha was about to go in after Ambrose but the latter came out of the bathroom, looking pale and horrified. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Okay, calm down. Explain to me what's going on." The diva tried to steer Ambrose to a bench but the Lunatic stayed put. He was shaking as he ran his hands through his hair in his panic. 

Dean swallowed a lump in his throat. "O-okay but...c-could ya bring me a tampon first, please?"

* * *

Sasha managed to sneak a pack of tampons into Ambrose's locker room without much trouble or running into anyone. She also got dressed and got her bag while she was scouting for tampons in the divas' locker room so she didn't have to go back. She closed the door of Dean's locker room and saw that Dean had already taken a shower and was sitting on a bench with a towel wrapped around his waist, the tips of his hair still dripping wet but he didn't do anything to dry it off. A stack of clothes sat beside him, as well as a fresh pair of boxers.

The diva threw the pack onto Dean's lap and he immediately took the pack and his clothes before proceeding to get dressed in the bathroom. Sasha had no choice but to sit down on the bench and check her phone for a while until Dean went out, dressed in a black shirt and jeans but wore no footwear yet. The Lunatic Fringe sat on a bench facing the one where the female superstar was sitting.

"So," Sasha said after putting her phone back in her pocket. "Care to tell me what's going on  _now?"_

Dean scratched the back of his neck as he tried to think of the right words to explain his situation. But Sasha beat him to it.

"You're not a real man, are you?"

The words stung and Dean could feel a vital part of him crack a little. He winced at the judgement but didn't say anything. Instead, he hung his head and nodded in defeat, knowing that there was nothing he could do or say that would make the situation better. 

Sasha's eyes widened at the confirmation and she suddenly didn't know what else she could say. Her eyebrows knitted together as she tried to think of something that would make sense of the situation. Only one result came to mind, though.

"You're a trans man?!" 

"Sshhh!" Dean shushed, his index finger pressed firmly against his lips to further shut Sasha up. "Y-yeah, I'm...I'm trans, okay? So what?"

"'So what?'" The redhead stood from her seat, glaring down at her ex-boyfriend. "What about the fact that you lied to me the entire time we were together? Or what about me finding about you being trans a few months after we broke up? You fucking lied to me, Dean. If that's even you're real name!"

"What the fuck does my real name have to do with anything, Sasha? And why the hell are you bringing our disaster of a relationship up?"

"Because you fucking lied to me about you the whole time!"

Dean finally stood from the bench, his height allowing him to easily tower above the woman. "Would you have gone out with me if I told you about me?" 

Sasha looked away from Ambrose and she could hear how the latter scoffed. "Yeah, that's what I thought," He said before turning away from her.

The redhead stood awkwardly in the middle of the room while Dean gathered his things and placed them inside his bag. He still didn't put any shoes on, which was starting to bother the young woman. But now, she could get a clear glimpse of her ex-lover's feet. She'd never seen them before, which was kinda stupid but she was told by the (man? woman?) man in front of her that he had really bad-looking feet.

Now she could see that the feet were actually nice. Nails were neatly trimmed and was probably around a size 14. Weird that she noticed it but something to think about. And maybe gossip to her Team B.A.D mates.

"Could you stop looking at my feet like pieces of meat, please?" Dean finally scolded, sitting back down on the bench with a pair of sneakers in one hand. He put on the shoes and laced them up. He got up and grabbed his bag. "You gonna go with Naomi and Tamina or are you gonna bum a ride with me and Roman? Because the car gets really cramped and we take a lot of bathroom stops so-"

"How're you gonna tell Roman?" Sasha interrupted hefting her bag onto her shoulder.

Dean was taken aback by the question. "I...I don't know," He answered. "I know I should tell him but I don't think I'd know how."

"You'll figure it out," Sasha shot him a sincere smile and reached up to cup his cheek. "You're a smart man."

And with that, the diva went out the door.

* * *

"Saw you talking to Sasha in Catering tonight." Roman pointed out as Dean sat in the passenger seat, the younger man chewing at his thumbnail. 

It was a long way from Atlanta to Nashville and it was around 3 in the morning. Roman was trying to find a motel he and his boy can stay at but so far, there was nothing but road for miles. He was getting sleepy but no way he'd ever let Dean drive. As much as he loved his brother, he just doesn't trust him behind the wheel.

Dean glanced at the Samoan man and instantly, he became nervous. "Yeah?"

Roman nodded, spotting a sign in the distance. Hopefully, it was a motel. "Yeah. Didn't wanna interrupt or anything. Figured you two were settling things out. How'd that go, by the way?"

"Good," Ambrose lied, looking out the window. "She, uh, told me that she wanted to stay friends and I said it was okay."

Roman rose a bit in his seat and was relieved that the sign was in fact of a motel. "Found a place we could sleep."

Dean visibly relaxed. He liked being in the car but his ass was falling asleep and it was getting a bit uncomfortable. He checked his phone but no messages were left so he put it back in his pocket. 

20 minutes went by and the car was finally parked and Dean was seated on a lumpy sofa in an overly-decorated lounge of an old motel while Roman was getting the keys from the lady behind the counter. When Dean looked up at his partner, he almost choked on his tongue when the woman winked at him. Don't get him wrong, she was beautiful but the sudden gesture just freaked him out a little.

Finally, they got to the room, which was surprisingly nicer than the 'lobby', as the woman at the desk called it. The room wasn't badly-painted, no unnecessary decorations hung from the walls. Just two beds, a nightstand with a lamp on top of it, a T.V. and a bathroom, plain and simple.

Roman took the bed next to the window, putting his bag down on the floor at the foot of the bed. Dean literally threw his bag aside and jumped face-first onto the mattress. The older of the two moved to sit on Dean's bed, petting his brother's head and running his fingers through those adorable blonde curls.

Dean looked up at him. Well, this is it.

"Ro, you love me, right?"

 As expected, Roman looked down at him, confused. "Of course I love ya, Dean."

Dean pursed his lips. "And you'll love me no matter what, right?"

The Samoan nodded, still trying to figure out where this conversation was headed. He'd never heard Dean this...needy and serious. It was a cause for concern.

Ambrose continued. "Well, I have to tell you something but you have to promise you won't hate me for it."

"Sure, baby boy."

Dean sighed through his nose, got off the bed and dug through his bag. Roman tried to see what he was trying to get but Dean's body was blocking the view so he couldn't see much. Eventually, he was handed a brown bag and was told to look inside. The older man looked at the younger, trying to see if this was a trick but Dean remained calm. 

Roman stuck his hand inside the paper bag, puzzled to feel a bit of what felt like cotton there. Dean nodded at him to continue, looking awfully worried as he chewed on his bottom lip. Reigns grabbed the item, surprised that what he felt next was plastic like it was packaged somehow, and pulled the item out. It took him barely a second to realize what it was and he quickly tossed the item to the floor in his shock.

"Dean, why the fuck are you carrying a pack of tampons in your bag?" He questioned, thinking that maybe this was just a well-acted out practical joke and Seth was going to call the blonde a few hours later asking how the joke went.

But Dean looked dead serious so Roman joked, trying to lighten the mood, "Shit, it's not like you're gonna have use for them, right?"

Ambrose's right eye twitched, which meant he was on the verge of tears. Roman reached out to hold Dean's hand to soothe his boy but the Lunatic just jerked his hand away from Roman's reach.

"Oh, come on, Dean. It was just a joke!" The Samoan reasoned, which only seemed to have infuriated the blonde even more. Dean sat on his bed, sitting as far away from Roman as possible, and pressed a pillow into his face. 

Roman sighed and placed a hand on Dean's shoulder. Thankfully, the younger man didn't recoil from his touch. "Is that what you wanted to show me? That you have a period kink or whatever?"

"Fuck, don't you get it?!" Dean snapped, looking up from the pillow, the look in his eyes absolutely murderous. "Yeah, you're right! I wouldn't have any use for these fucking tampons," He stood up and violently kicked at the pack on the floor. "if I was a man!"

"What the fuck are you going on about?" Roman tried not to raise his voice. He really didn't want to fight with Dean, especially at the time when they should be asleep. But the drowsiness was getting to him and it was getting more and more difficult to keep his temper at bay. 

Dean growled, pressing his hands against his eyes as he tried to hold back the tears. He knew that this would happen. He knew that this was a bad idea. Of course, Roman wouldn't understand. "Try to piece everything together, Roman! Why do you think I would have tampons in my bag, other than for a practical joke?!"

Roman tried to think up of reasons why Dean would need the feminine items. He sounds serious so jokes were out. He doesn't have a girlfriend at the moment so relationship was out as well. 

" _Are_ you using them?" He was not expecting the answer, though.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at Roman. "Yeah, I'm using them."

Reigns' eyebrows knitted in confusion. What was- Oh, wait. He didn't mean...

"You're a woman?"

Dean shifted his eyes away from Roman and began to nervously paced around the room, his ragged breathing could be heard. It became silent and for almost five minutes, none of them spoke or even looked at each other. Roman decided to just silently grab his shoes, put them on and stood up from the bed.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked, grabbing the Samoan's tattooed arm to pull him back. Roman just turned towards him.

"I'm talking to Seth for a while," He said. "Just...I need time to think."

Dean watched his lover leave the room. Of course he was going to Seth. He wasn't sure about Roman's sexuality but Ambrose was sure he wasn't exactly fond of trans people. The Lunatic sat on the edge of the bed in defeat. He knew it would happen eventually, that he and Roman would split at some point but he wished that it wouldn't be because of this. Something as stupid as his gender. 

It breaks his heart. Roman promised that he loved him no matter what. What happened to that promise, to the man that he loved? He took his bag and flung it across the room, his clothes, his gear came spilling out as well as an empty water bottle and a few other things the bag held. He decided to just sleep it off, hoping that maybe Roman would be back when he wakes up. He didn't even bother to clean up the mess he made, just laid down on the bed and closed his eyes, hugging a pillow close and pretended it to be his lover.

 


	2. It's either you love me or you don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean never really expected that his secret was going to be the cause of his unhappiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is if Seth never got injured...I have no idea. I'm winging it.

"I'm just...I don't know what to do, Seth." 

Roman was in the half-blonde's hotel room, sitting on a recliner and just rubbing his hands over his eyes. His conversation with Dean was uneventful, to say the least, and he knew that he came off like a jerk for walking out on his friend when Dean clearly needed him the most.

But he needed time to process this and also to rethink about his sexuality. He thought for sure he was straight but just romantically attracted to men, that's just what he thinks. But now...now he's not so sure anymore. So he needed to talk to someone who knows everything LGBT. He needed to talk to Seth.

"Okay, first of all: Why'd you leave him there?" Seth question, sitting up on the bed and leaning against the headboard with his hands on his lap. "I mean, you know how he gets."

"Why do you keep using, like, male pronouns on him? It's weird."

Seth looked as if he was trying so hard not to be offended by that. "He identifies and expresses as masculine, right? And his name, Dean, is clearly male, right?"

"I guess," Roman nodded, realizing just how offensive his statement sounded. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

Seth raised an eyebrow at that. "No? Then what?"

Roman rubbed his hands together for a while, wanting to warm them up for some reason. "I...I don't know if I'm gay or what. I mean, I thought for sure with Dean, I was homo-romantic. But now, I'm not so sure."

"Wait, didn't you mention when we were in the Shield that you dated an agender person?" Seth snapped his fingers, as if he just coined a brand new word. Roman confirmed it and Seth continued.

"And didn't you say that you don't really care about someone's gender? That you'd love them no matter what?"

Roman scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, so? I mean, I assume that's just a normal person thing."

The younger man took a pillow and hugged it before replying, "Believe it or not, not a lot of people are like that, Ro. This is what I think, though. I think you're pansexual."

Pansexual. Roman's heard that word before from Becky, talked about the term while they were waiting for Smackdown to start last week. He never really assumed that it was a fitting label for him, however, so he just assumed that he was just questioning.

Seth held up his hand. "I mean you're still be homo-romantic but regarding your sexuality, I think you're pansexual."

"I guess but why am I attracted to Dean, then? Since he's not, y'know..."

"He doesn't have a dick?" Seth asked blankly, daring Roman to confirm. "So fucking what if he wasn't born a guy? He's still our brother, still  _your_ brother and don't you think that you should love him regardless of what he is?"

"Roman, Dean loves you. And all he wants is for you to accept him for who he is."

"Wait a minute," The Samoan looked at Seth. "You knew about this? Him being trans or whatever?"

Seth scoffed, like that should have been obvious.

"Uh, duh. But that's not the point. The point is how Dean feels right now. How would you feel if you came out to your family, knowing that they'd accept you and then they'd walk out? It fucking hurts. Believe me, I've had my fair share of bi-erasure. It's not something that I would wish upon someone. And being bisexual is kinda being slowly accepted into society nowadays, but transgender? They're being accepted, yes, but still discriminated and shamed. And Dean trusted you with his gender and you just walked out on him? What else is he supposed to think, other than the most precious man in his life would never love him for what he is now?"

Seth was right. He was always right when it came to these things. He practically left Dean to his own devices when he left and now, he feels like an asshole for doing so to someone he considers more than family. 

He nods in agreement and wipes his sweaty palms on the thighs of his pants. He says goodbye to Seth and leaves the room without saying anything more.

Seth scoffs in amusement. "I swear to god, these two wouldn't know how to sort their shit without me."

* * *

"I never should have told him!"

Dean took a pillow from his bed and flung it towards the window. Thankfully, the glass didn't shatter so they didn't have to pay for anything. 

Becky sat on the other bed, trying to find a good time to talk or else she'd get a punch to the jaw for her troubles.

She was called at five in the fucking morning by Dean Ambrose to come to the motel. She thought at first that it was just Ambrose being drunk and expecting a booty call but it turned out that it wasn't. It was Dean sounding so distraught and that he needed someone to talk to. But she knew why.

She knew what Dean was. She was one of the first people he told, along with Seth and Paige, and she's okay with that. She's okay with Dean being the way he is, as long as he wasn't hurting anyone because of it.

Becky eventually agreed and told him to text her the address. The Irish woman was thankful that the motel Ambrose was staying at wasn't too far from the hotel she was staying at so she got a shower, got dressed and drove all the way to the run-down building which was surprisingly nice in the inside.

She questioned about Ambrose choosing to talk to her instead of Roman or Seth but he didn't want to talk about it so she didn't push.

The orange-haired lass sighed through her nose. "So why did you?"

Dean kept pacing around the room, his hands gripping at thin air as his ragged breathing was forced through gritted teeth. 

"Sasha said that Roman should know," He answered, his right hand going up to his hair to get his bangs out from his eyes. "And he should. He should know but I guess...with the tampon thing..."

"What made you think that making him look at a pack of tampons was a good way of telling him?"

"Fucking periods mess me up!" Becky ducked as the Lunatic took the pillow again and this time, threw it somewhere above the woman's head.

"I'm a man! I know, deep down in the demented crevices of my mind, that I am a man! I wanna live a life where I don't have to worry about when my next period will come, I don't have to carry fucking tampons and panties in my bag! I don't wanna worry about whether or not my boyfriend would be okay with all of this!"

Becky nodded, not really knowing where the man was coming from but she knew the pain of having to carry napkins and tampons and napkins around so it's the same thing. 

She got up from the bed and placed a hand on Dean's shoulder to stop him from pacing a hole into the carpeted floor. He stopped but didn't look at her so Becky spoke anyway.

"Maybe the way you told Roman was wrong but you were right when you said that Roman should know. He has every right to know and if he loves you, he'll stay and love you the same way he did when he didn't know about all of this. But if he leaves, then so what? There are a lot of people out there who will love every last inch of you. All we could do now is wait for Roman to-"

The door opened and the two fell silent, waiting to see who it was. Maybe it was security or something who were gonna tell them to keep it down. All their worries washed away when Roman trudged into the main room, looking slightly confused at seeing Becky Lynch in the same hotel room as Dean. He didn't know they were friends but they are apparently.

Becky's hand fell from Ambrose's shoulder and held her hands up in submission. "He called me. He needed someone to talk to. I wasn't-"

Roman held up a hand and Becky stopped her sentence. "It's fine, Becky. Just...I need to talk to my boy."

"Oh,  _now_  you call me your boy?!" Dean snapped and Becky pressed her lips into a thin line as she hurried out the door, probably to go back to her own hotel.

Once the woman was gone, Roman rubbed the back of his neck. "I never said I wouldn't call you that."

"Yeah? When you walked out, you might as well have! It would've hurt less, Roman!" Dean pushed the Samoan away from him and was about to say something else when a sudden pain stabbed at his stomach. Great, now the cramps were acting up. Roman was quick to help him, guiding him to the foot of the bed to sit. Dean did sit down but once he did, he wrenched his arm away from Roman's grasp. 

The Samoan let him, kneeling down in front of Dean so he was eye-level with him. Those beautiful blue orbs were always filled with so many emotions and now was no different. He held the younger man's hand and Dean let him.

"Listen, baby. Are you listening?" Dean nodded. "I'm sorry for walking out on you earlier. I just thought that if I stayed, I would end up yelling at you or saying something that I don't mean. I'm not against you being this way but I was just taken by surprise. Not because I don't want you to be like this but because we've been together for how many years and you didn't trust me enough to tell me. But I get it: You thought I wouldn't be okay with it. I get that but I love you, regardless of what you are. You're my baby boy, you'll always be my baby boy and I wouldn't want you any other way."

Dean smiled and would've said something snarky if it wasn't for the thumping ache the put of his belly. Roman hugged the blonde, running his fingers through the curls. 

"Thanks, brother."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I strayed off from the original prompt. Oh well. I really hoped you enjoyed and thanks for reading! I'll see you in the next one.


End file.
